the names of racehorses.

​On this site I have a page dedicated to an ever-extending list of possible names for racehorses that owners might wish to take advantage of. If it can be described as a service, it is at least free. I do suggest, though, that a donation be given to any of the horse rehabilitation centres. The question most frequently asked, I suspect, by anyone choosing to browse my site, is why? Here’s why.
Firstly, and I freely admit it, it has become a bit of an obsession. Secondly, I am now wondering how far into the future I can continue to come up with fresh names. Thirdly, after owning a racehorse or to be wealthy enough to own a racehorse, my ambition would be to name a racehorse, preferably one of my own. One day, one day, fate and Lottery willing. Fourthly, as someone who is perhaps not as educated as one should be for hosting a site dependent on the written word, I struggle to remember the names of horses, in particular French and Arabic, with foreign names. Fifthly, someone from the B.H.A. or it might have been Wetherby’s said it was not as easy to name a horse as some might think. I think it is. I may not be the cleverest cookie in the jar but even I know that the English language is as replete with words and the combination of words as there are celestial bodies in the heavens. In fact, the English language might outnumber the stars, comets, planets and everything else in the cosmos. And that is to exclude every other language in the world or even names made up using a combination of words from different languages, many of which I would doubtless disapprove of.
In years to come, given I have years to come, I will struggle (I do now) to remember the name of Paul Nicholl’s King George winner Clan Des Obeaux, mainly because of all the other Des Obeaux there are about – Alpha Des Obeaux, Chef Des Obeaux, to name but three. I also struggle with horses with the name Collonges in their name. I accept that these horses come to our shores already named and place no blame against their present owners and that as long as the trade with French breeders continues there is very little anyone, even if there is anyone other than me who cares about the subject, which I doubt, can do to change this French invasion of our race-cards.
Arabic names also perplex me: Wohileh, Tashaaboh, Muraahin, Kitaabaat, Laraaib, for example. I have no doubt that anyone whose tongue fits smoothly around such tongue-twisters, all quite respectable names, I have no doubt, will think me racist or xenophobic. I am not, believe me. And I respect Hamdan Al Maktoum’s right to name his horses anyway he chooses, within the 18-character protocol laid down by the B.H.A. He ploughs enough resources into the sport to be allowed a bit of rope, even by me. But his naming policy is why I cheer louder for his brother and Prince Khalid Abdullah, not that he will sleep over it.
But in the future these names, even for the educated and those with eidetic memories, will merge and coalesce into a Gordian knot in which recollection and fact cannot be plucked.
I also dislike names such as Goaheadwiththeplan and Willyouwalkwithme, and such like, many of which are imposed upon us (or at least on me) by my all-time racing hero J.P. McManus. Shutthefrontdoor comes easily to mind. These names do not infringe the naming rules as they do not possess more than 18 characters but by all that is good and holy, don’t they look ugly on the page. And they make a mockery of the English language. Fowler and all the English Dons at Oxford and Cambridge would be apoplectic to see the language played with as if it is Playdoh. Other squidgy stuff is available, I think.
We are a respectable sport; we wish to be taken seriously by the public. If we cannot afford our horses sensible names – and no horse in the past hundred years with a silly name has ever won a classic on the flat or over jumps – we risk planting the seed in the heads of our detractors (our enemies) that their perceived lack of care of horses, that they are bred and used simply for our entertainment and nothing else, accompanies the horse from birth to death.
We owe the horse our total respect. Yes, the horse doesn’t know the name he races under and barely recognises his stable name (Fred, Whiffy or Bert), so he or she is not offended to be called Thatsmyseat or Winalotwithalittle. We owe the sport our total respect. To my mind, as perhaps alone as I am, obligation of respect covers all facets of the sport and as the name of the horse is in some ways the face of the sport to the public, the names we give horses is not a matter for levity but a serious issue that should be debated by those with the honour of owning racehorses and given consideration by the B.H.A.