my beef with the names given to racehorses.

​On the home page of this site there is a heading titled Racehorse Names. If you go to this page you will find an ever-lengthening list of random words that could be used to name a racehorse. The stimulus for what has become, I admit, an obsession was a comment by someone from the B.H.A., in defending the re-use of the name Spanish Steps, claiming ‘it is not as easy as you might think to name a racehorse’. A secondary stimulus, and this is more of a personal opinion and not one that I would suggest bothers anyone else, is the profusion of French-born horses coming to race here and Ireland and bearing, not unnaturally, names relevant to the country of their origin. Back in the days of my youth, long long ago, the occasional French name was not the vexation it has become, especially when the horse was French-trained. Now, due to the epidemic or ever-increasing upsurge in young French horses coming to our racecourses, for me, perhaps alone, it vexes me greatly. I have not liked the French language since my school-days when I considered it bizarre to be forced to sit through French lessons alongside classmates who, like I, had yet to master the native tongue, with a teacher fresh back from Hong Kong who had a very strong Scottish accent.
But to return to the ‘it’s not as easy as you might think to name a racehorse’ comment of the B.H.A. official. He is correct, of course. What with there being over 1-million words to choose from, and that is only using the English language, plus the 6,500 languages world-wide, the choice is beguiling. And there is the combining of English words, as in Spanish and Steps, which must elevate the choice to a number similar to the stars in the heavens. Then there are names that can be made-up – Elioso, Pordarten, Adrezza, etc. And the names of villages, landmarks, towns, cities, rivers, canyons etc etc.
Of course, for those fortunate enough to breed their own horses or who as a matter-of-course buy unnamed yearlings or jumping stock it is a personal matter what they choose, or try to, name their youngsters. There is a limit of 18-characters, including spaces between words and the winners of classic races, many of the most prestigious flat races, plus Grand National, Cheltenham Gold Cup and Champion Hurdle, cannot be re-used. There is also a restraint on the number of syllables and the name must not be offensive. The guidelines are tight but as I have stated the possibilities are innumerable. 
What grieves me, surprises me, is that very few people use the contact page to comment on my ‘good ideas’ for improving our sport. Or challenge me by proposing ‘good ideas’ of their own. Or put me right when I make a mistake. But the piece that receives by far away the most contacts is when I vented my spleen on Coolmore being allowed to name a horse Spanish Steps, the horse who was, until Denman came along, the horse I most revered in my lifetime in love with this sport. To this day I receive comments that mirror my own thoughts on this horse and how disrespectful it is to his memory that a lesser horse should have his name.
Some people get the impression that I believe no name should be replicated. To adopt such a position would truly make the naming of a racehorse difficult. It is my view that any racehorse that leaves an indelible mark in either the formbook or the memory is worthy of having its name die with him or her.
As with these damn French names: the former editor of the Racing Post, Bruce Millington, came up with a solution – he, too, has a problem with the plethora of Frenchness plaguing racecards – and that is to translate the name they come with into English, even if that goes beyond the 18-character rule. It shouldn’t be mandatory for owners to change the name from French into English, we are not declaring a State of Emergency here, but it should be allowed and without cost.
In my naïve wisdom I thought, or hoped, to raise some funds for equine charities with my list of possible names. I also thought I would be giving assistance to the likes of Godolphin and Juddmonte that have hundreds of horses to find names for each year. I was wrong; I am sometimes.
As someone who is extremely unlikely ever to have the ready money to own a racehorse, a dream, like so many others, doomed to forever remain just that, it would be nice, to step into the rays of reflective glory, if you wish, if a name I had thought-up was carried to victory and immortality in a classic. I would prefer victory at Cheltenham or the Grand National but that is to presume I will live that long but with the present ‘crisis’ to live through, which is becoming increasingly like a long walk to the edge of reason (when I get to the actual vicinity of the edge there undoubtedly will be a queue as well as social distancing) well, optimism is not my strong suit, as many will have noticed down the years that this website has been in existence.
While I concede that racing should be fun, it is, it should be remembered, both an industry and a seriously-minded sport. Commentators should be kept in mind by both owners and the naming department at the B.H.A.. Tongue-twisters and names that when said quickly sound rude and before the watershed should not be allowed. And owners should bear in mind that good horses rarely carry silly names. Though if the horse could understand us, all names would doubtless be silly to them.