GOOD MONEY FOR END OF SEASON, DAN IS SETTING RECORDS THAT EVEN HE MIGHT FIND HARD TO BEAT & THE JUKEBOX MAN.

There is still plenty of prize money to be won over the jumps in the final week of the British season. Perth stage their popular spring meeting, with plenty of five-figure first prize-money on offer. Warwick have two Challenger Finals on Thursday and then, of course, there is the grand finale at Sandown this Saturday.

Apparently, and I always grimace, sometimes laugh, when clerks of the course, in defence of providing ground without the word soft in the description, proclaim a drought, even though it is only ten-days since the last drop of rain. Given that long-range weather forecasts can be as right as they are wrong, I would have thought clerks of the course would take a pessimistic view and start watering upon the arrival of the third day without rain and then to continue topping-up until they can use the word soft in the going description. But what do I know about irrigation. Irritation, I am within touching distance of a degree, the irregation of grass and plants, not so much. Ask the plants in my garden - if you are a Professor Henry Higgins graduate - and they will betray me by saying my technique is clumsy and the application of water or feed is haphazard. Where plants are concerned, it is feast or famine, which is why I have taken a fancy to hebes, a plant that is uncomplaining and with an attraction to bees.

Although enhanced prize money is very welcome, I do sometimes wonder if this level of prize-money can be found now, at the last knockings of the season, why cannot it be the same consistently throughout the season? I also question, given I.T.V. is the sport's leading marketing tool, why it is not possible for them to televise the Perth meeting this week? Casual observers of the sport might be drawn to the green glory of Perth and the surrounding countryside and think what a lovely part of the world to go on holiday or to have a weekend break and seek out the next Perth fixture. Just a thought.

If our new champion trainer, Dan Skelton, has a winner at Perth today, he will have trained a winner at every British National Hunt racecourse this season. That is some achievement. Some trainers with 30 or 40-years with a licence would not have achieved a winner at every British racecourse, yet Dan has done it in one season. Today, at Perth, Panic Attack is odds-on in a 4-runner mares chase, so the achievement is there to be had. To my chagrin - obviously she would have won if she had stayed on her feet - she fell at the third at Aintree, so she should be fresh enough to end her season on a small high. I suspect, though, that Dan's quest for £5-million in prize-money will fall short, though defeat in battle, as he keeps on proving, is merely motivation to succeed in the future. He would make a great general. Let's hope President Trump doesn't hear about him as he might make him an offer he can't refuse. Iran beware, Skelton the Invincible might be looking you up on the map at this very moment. This man leaves no stone unturned and he has a few weeks twiddling his fingers, plenty of time to solve the Iran crisis before he begins his quest to dominate Britain as his Irish foe dominates Ireland.

At Punchestown next week, the Irish Cheltenham, there is a mighty clash to look forward to in Fact To File versus Gaelic Warrior. The former should be fresh as a daisy having not run in the Ryanair due to the ground being too sharp for him, while the latter breezed-up in the Gold Cup, the best winner, to my mind, of the race in several decades. I hope it will not be a two-horse race as The Jukebox Man is entered and on my last hearing was a proposed runner. If he runs, I hope he wins or at the very least covers himself in glory of some kind. If the wind issue that punchered his tyres before the second last in the Gold Cup has been put right, he should be able to put it up to the two McManus horses. I was pretty confident he would win the Gold Cup, overly optimistic, perhaps, so I must side with him again. All being well, The Jukebox Man is a high-class steeplechaser, every bit as good as Gaelic Warrior and Fact To File. Yet again, fingers crossed.

My apologies. This, for me, is the silly season, a naturally occuring period of time waiting for the flat going to up a gear and the windin-down of the National Hunt season. My mind wanders, even when writing this nonsense. I hope you can forgive the odd gardening tip and a glimpse at the fictional side of what is left of my brain cells.