You may be of the opinion, and perhaps quite rightly, that I write self-indulgent twaddle. It is, though, you must accept, advert-free twaddle. You may also ask yourself why I bother, especially when, even though retired from paid-employment, I continue to get out of bed at 4 in the morning to read The Racing Post and write in response to what I read? I will tell you.
I care about our sport and for the horses who provide our entertainment. I am, though, on the outside of things. I am also an outlier in the sense that my commitment to the sport has nothing to do with betting. And although I can afford to go racing once in a while, as I have got older, even though I am very fit for my years, mentally I struggle with travelling to unfamiliar places, technology that is nowadays everywhere, and crowds.The former used to be no problem to me; in my life I have lived in many parts of the country and visited a good many of our racecourses. Crowds I have always hated, though when younger I could cope. I did though have an episode when I decided to visit London for the first time when I suffered a panic attack in Oxford Street that reduced my day in the capital to one that lasted less than hour. I also suffered a panic attack in Cartmel Priory, though that was perhaps something to do my guilty conscience as I was an atheist poking around in one of His (not that I believe there is a Him) houses!
Horse racing gives my life purpose. And this website, even with a 'hit' value that can only be described as miniscule, is a lifeline for my mental health. This sport matters to me and this site allows me the breathing space to vent my thoughts, concerns and ideas and I would recommend to anyone who suffers from depression or anxiety to follow my lead, not to necessarily start a website, though if I wrote this piece and did not offer it up to a public forum, I would simply be writing to myself, but to find an outlet for your thoughts and frustrations on a subject that you care about. Not necesarily the private issue that is the cause of your declining mental health but a subject that takes you out of yourself, places your personal issues to one side for an hour or so and allow your brain to exercise itself on a completely different issue, an issue you care about. Self-help is often a better cure than anything that can be prescibed by a doctor or psychologist.
In today's Racing Post there is an interview with Laura Pearson, rider of Sparks Fly. It seems we are about to lose her to Australia; another female jockey who believes she has hit a brick wall in her career and longs for the greener grass of foreign fields. As with most female jockeys, she does not believe her problem is a female only problem when it comes to her profession but simply one of opportunities either not given or missed. In general terms she may be correct as many male jockeys once they have lost their claim equally struggle to progress their careers. But it is worse for female jockeys, I believe, as in all walks of society there is an underlying core of misogyny, a belief that female riders are not as strong in a finish, that a man will always out-ride a female. It does not matter that Blackmore, Frost, Turner and Doyle, to name but four, have disproved this notion time and time again, it remains a barrier to proper equality in our sport. Pearson presently works for Kevin Philippart de Foy in Newmarket, who, as far as I am aware, has given only one ride thus far this season. My advice, not that she needs any advice from the likes of me, if she remains confident in her ability, is to freelance and ride out for as many trainers as possible, especially long-established and newly-licenced trainers. She has ridden a Royal Ascot winner, Group 3 wins are on her c.v. and listed winners. She should give it one last push, not sit around putting all her eggs in one basket. Good things come to those who go looking for them.